“I have always seen you.”
At first, that could sound creepy, kind of stalker-ish. But, it can also be reassuring. How many times have people looked at us but not truly seen us? How many times have people heard our voice but didn’t listen to the words?
To be truly seen, to be fully known, is a desire every human has whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Yes, some – like myself – don’t want to be on stage. We shy away from the spotlight and attention; would rather work behind the scenes, but regardless we still want our name to be recognized in some way shape or form.
“I have always seen you.”
Guess who says that?
The all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present Being who created us with a simple breath.
He sees us. He knows us.
Now, sometimes that is reassuring. It is a comfort, a strong sense of security to know that. But, it can be terrifying. For God to see us, He sees us in every way possible: our outward actions and verbal speech as well as our hidden motives and unspoken thoughts. He knows and sees us in the most intimate ways possible, beyond even what we can comprehend.
“O LORD, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. You go before me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!” Psalm 139:1-6 NLT
“The LORD’s light penetrates the human spirit, exposing every hidden motive.” Proverbs 20:27 NLT
We are afraid of vulnerability. We are afraid of complete exposure because then we cannot hide. We cannot hide our dirt, our shame, our guilt, our anger, our bitterness, our lust, our fears, our worries, our dreams, our brokenness, any of it. This is why Christianity is so uncomfortable a lot of the time. But it is good that God sees everything about us. As believers, as women pursuing to be godly ladies after His own heart, there are things that need to be exposed. We need to see the evil that lies within. We need to be held accountable to the necessary change that needs to be made in order for us to be true reflections of our Christ.
“My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the LORD Himself who will examine me and decide. So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the LORD returns. For He will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due.” 1 Corinthians 4:4-5 NLT
“Put me on trial, LORD, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and my heart.” Psalm 26:2 NLT
“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; You have broken me – now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.” Psalm 51:7-10 NLT
Paul and David knew the importance and the beauty of having God seeing and knowing us in our entirety. They also knew that the evil that dwells within us God can remove, that we can be purified and made blameless in His sight.
Can it be a battle between flesh and spirit to want to hide or be exposed? Absolutely.
But knowing that God sees all of it yet still chooses to love us and forgive us, to embrace us time and time again when we fail, that is hope we cannot have if we hide in darkness.
Would you rather have someone only know and see you for the facade you put on, the mask you wear, or would you rather have Someone know you and see you in everything, both good and bad, and still choose to pursue your heart?