Singleness can be daunting. Everywhere you look – social media, newspapers and articles, movies and TV shows, song lyrics, friends and strangers – it seems that relationships are always the focus and singleness is often looked down upon.
I am twenty-four. I have never had a boyfriend, never been on a date, never even been asked out on a date. Does that mean there is something wrong with me? No. It’s just not been part of my life yet. At this age, relationships are everywhere. Friend after friend getting engaged and married. Now, people younger than me, those who are my sibling’s ages, are getting married and starting families. I’ve come across people who haven’t seen me in years and what is one of the questions I get asked? “So, any special guy in your life?” *insert eye roll* It’s unavoidable nowadays. You get pressured and somewhat manipulated, perhaps not intentionally, to feel bad that you’re single.
But singleness is not a burden. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a unique gift. Sometimes it takes effort to have a perspective to see it as such, but it really is.
“Singleness is a gift; marriage is a gift. We should not misuse the gifts we’ve been given.” Alistair Begg
Marriage is a gift as it brings two individuals together as one and can be used as the example of Christ and His bride, the church. Singleness is also a gift as it allows a little more freedom – freedom to serve globally and freedom of time to be more focused on God.
Regardless of relationship status, there is one thing that should be constant for Christians: a heart hidden in Christ.
“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her.” Maya Angelou
I’ve heard that quote before and it reminds me of the triangle diagram. In the triangle, the two bottom corners represents a man and a woman. The top point represents Christ. The more you draw closer to God from the bottom corners, the closer those two lines become.
But what does it mean to have a heart hidden in Christ? What does that look like?
First off, a heart hidden in Christ is one that doesn’t seek the affection of another heart but rather seeks God with everything it has, chasing after Him and His desires.
“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5 NIV
“Only fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all your heart.” 1 Samuel 12:24a ESV
“With my whole heart I seek You; let me not wander from Your commandments!” Psalm 119:10 ESV
“I have sought Your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to Your promise.” Psalm 119:58 NIV
Second, a heart hidden in Christ has Him as the top priority, not allowing other people or objects to become idols. When God sits on the throne of our hearts, there is no room for anything else to draw our eyes away and drift our affections.
“You shall have no other gods before Me.” Exodus 20:3 & Deuteronomy 5:7 NIV
“Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.” 1 Corinthians 10:14 ESV
Thirdly, a heart hidden in Christ knows that it’s identity is not in the affections and attention of another heart, but in the fact that it was created by God for God.
“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13 NIV
“Everyone who is called by My name, whom I created for My glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43:7 ESV
“From one man He created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and He determined their boundaries. His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him–though He is not far from any one of us.” Acts 17:26-27 NLT
“None but God can satisfy the longings of an immortal soul; that as the heart was made for Him, so He only can fill it.” Richard Chenevix
Your relationship with Christ is the utmost important of all the relationships you have, and it doesn’t matter if you are single, engaged, married or widowed, across the spectrum, a heart genuinely hidden in Christ looks the same.
The thing is, God is the original owner of our hearts. He is who made us. He is who knows us in deep and intimate details. He is the perfect God who makes us, the imperfect human, complete. No man completes a woman and no woman completes a man, but we do complement one another due to how God designed us. We are imperfect humans who are only going to disappoint. God never disappoints. He fills us with Himself, filling every void we have in abundance. His love reaches our deepest holes. His joy satisfies every crack.
“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19 NLT
“So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” Colossians 2:10 NLT
No man, no matter how great and godly they are, can ever give us such satisfaction the way that God does; they can never make us whole.
There seems to be that push for everyone to find their “happily ever after;” for everyone to get their fairytale ending by a certain point in life. We live in an imperfect world – fairytale ending doesn’t exactly exist – and no one’s love life is going to be identical. Just think of how many apps and websites there are devoted to helping people find their “perfect match.” I’m not saying that perhaps those can’t work out well, but it appears that people are impatient with waiting, impatient with their singleness, so much so that they are willing to let technology set them up on a blind date.
No app, no website, not even your best friend, knows what is best for you when it comes to your heart. Only God does because He knows you in ways you don’t even know and understand. But when your heart is hidden in Christ, not only are you safe and satisfied, but you are allowing the Great Almighty to write a love story that is greater than anything you’ve ever thought.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our LORD.” Romans 8:38-39 ESV
Man’s love is finite. God’s is eternal and unconditional. His love surpasses any boundary and limit; all of space and time. His timing is also not like ours. I’ve known people who have rushed into relationships and marriages for who knows why, and perhaps I’m just old-fashioned, but I don’t think marriage is something to rush into. Most of my friends may be married now, but that doesn’t mean I need to rush to be the next one walking down the aisle. I know that in this time of singleness, in this time of waiting, God is working in me and whoever He has in mind. I know that His timing is perfect and He has a purpose for my waiting.
“Your heart is so precious to God so guard it, and wait for the man who will treasure it.”
What God has in store in regards to a love story, as well as everything else, is definitely worth waiting for. And while I’m waiting, I know there is nothing better than for me to have my heart seek God deeply, to be so hidden in Him, only a man after God’s own heart would be able to find it. (That obviously should not be the only reason I pursue the LORD with my heart, but hey, I’m positive it is a nice benefit.) I know that a man who’s like that is worth waiting for because he will cherish me the way God does; that he too, believes that there is unparalleled satisfaction with being hidden in Christ and that waiting for God’s story to unfold is better than swiping right or left on his iPhone.
*all underline my own